Ant Scales

I feel disgusting and depressed, today

As if I was to be thrown away as a type of garbage

Or wiped up with a cheap brand cleaning product

Sometimes I feel the urge to play a broken doll

Type of unholy thing

A kind of monster

To be used and slashed 

And I can even enjoy that

But

Today, 

I feel seasick, 

taking an extensive trip

Inside a grey train-boat with wheels underneath it

And the drown rails above it make a deafening sound 

That makes me wanna purge bunch of words into this website

Sort of a diary object

The warm salt of life burns my lips with solitude, 

which is a word they pretend that doesn't mean loneliness, 

but hurts way deeper, like an ocean with dead fishes,

As a mermaid without her legs

Or a tail,

Or a voice,

Or a lover,

As a mermaid without the mermaid.

I feel like I have swallowed myself

And I was a kind of poisoning plant

Or food

Animal sea being

An intoxicated one, with those types of metals and petrochemicals, those things that will kill us all one day

A pesticide perhaps

That would make sense, if I'm a plague or such

Am I being exterminaded this time?

But doesn't matter how dead I may be

I always remain

Me and my remains

Me and my entrails