Pedro Peter Pan

Peter, my Peter Pan

You made me so happy

When you took me to your land

My moss dress 

Matching your green shoes

The light, the bells

I do, I do

I do believe in you

Peter, Peter Pan, my Peter

The kid we would never have

The hope dancing in my mind

The white of that day,

The sparkling night, I fell in love with you

My walls vibration,

You said I was better than you.

You were the first to see

The real me.

Peter, my Peter Pan, Peter

I gave you the name 

She gave to him

It felt more right when it was you.

I painted you in neon colors

I drew your eyes,

And then burned the sheet.

Peten, Pan, my Pete

I know this isn't the last poem that I'll write you

I hope you belonged to me

At least for a little while

You gifted me what I wanted 

You made me real, by stepping into my land

And when it all crashed out, 

When you left me there

Lonely, by your side

My Pan, my Pan, my Peter

I found a sun, in feather

And hiddenly, I named him you

I gave my heart, it flew away with it

And I still hear it beating

3h33 am

All my tears, Pete

All my breaths,

And all my colors 

You're the only thing I ever loved

All I ever wanted

The wonder of my land

And the reason I wear black only

The reason all my paintings come in rainbows,

That everything I make

Is wet and dripping

That I've chosen to dive inside myself

Pan, Peter, my Pan 

I love you still, wherever you are

From the tip of my tongue

To my tainted fingers,

I hope you find me again,

One day. 

Amniotic

I'm not a fish,

But I belong to the water

As the fizz belongs to a soda

As sugar belongs to chocolate, as

A kid belongs to its mother 

I am not a kid, but I belong to the latter

And like cigs belong to a father,

To me belongs my neverborn brother

To whom I never hissed

Who I never kissed

Who I never missed

Nor wished to exist

I'm not a fish

Nor do I live in the water

But through the water I came

And from the water I am

And without me, she would have been another

Therefore to me, 

Also belongs the water

the neverborn

I think I loved him more

Than I ever loved myself

But maybe even so

In him I saw me too

In another name

In another brain

In another way

What I would have been

If I hadn't seen

If life had never really happened to me

I'm proud of you. I hope she will be proud of me too.

Zero

I only wanted for my friends to meet each other

You two matched so well

In a way that I could never

And you destroyed yourselves so well

And it was my fault

I brought us to destruction

I didn't mean to

I didn't mean to kill your mother

I only wanted for my friends to meet each other

And you did

Now, I know neither

Not anymore.

Tequila envelhecida

Me doi uma dor de ter perdido alguém 

De ter perdido algo 

Um luto profundo e duradouro

Às vezes penso, me pergunto

Se fui eu que morri

E como poderia amar-me tanto

Que tal morte me dilacerou por completo

E então penso, quando, onde?

Tento recuperar fotografias,

Bordados, cheiros de mofo, 

Cheiros de passado,

Os brinquedos que sumiram,

As coisas jogadas fora,

O que queimou no fogo,

E o que morreu afogado

Talvez eu tenha tempo demais

Ou talvez eu esteja pra além

De algo a ser salvo

Quanto mais vasculho, reviro

O sótão e os livros velhos

O cheiro de poeira e ácaro,

O cheiro de metal e água

Eu sei que há rastros 

Que alguém viveu

E o tempo devorou

Feito fogo engolindo florestas

Eu penso no que sobrou

E se eu tenho como encontrar a trilha

Mas é inevitável perder-se

Com tantas falhas, com tantas placas derrubadas

Com tantas marcas no chão; e tantas que seguiram a direção errada

Quanto mais falhas, maior a falta

Quanto mais procuro, mais cavo

E a dor se espalha por mim

Como um veneno, septicemia

Algo que borbulha minhas veias por dentro

E fisga meus órgãos como uma adaga

Eu tento segurar firme em minhas próprias mãos

E continuar buscando

Se eu parar, tenho medo

Do que me sobraria

Do que eu poderia fazer

Tenho medo

Do que vai acontecer se eu continuar procurando

Se eu encontrar

Se não encontrar

O mistério me come viva

O que ainda me restou pra ser

No fim do dia

Quando eu escuto minha voz

Quando eu escuto as várias

Eu sei

Que nada no mundo é maior 

Que minha solidão

Mesmo que o silêncio nunca venha

Ela vai me matar de qualquer jeito

O fim do dia me traz

A esperança de findar também

it'll eat me up alive

I try to freeze the flames

That corrode me inside out

But the ice cream melts

As soon as it touches my skin

I'm safe in here, if I go out, the blades will cut me

people are silhouettes, 

people are shadows,

they're not real,

no one is

I am...

something

too old to be happy, too young to be dead