Abandon

It's cold outside,
It said.
Don't you need the sun?
I answered.
They are eating me.
I know.
I didn't do anything about it.
I left it in pain.
Do plants feel pain?
They know danger,
I know that.
I should at least
Have watered the creature.
I was feeling mean.
I was feeling selfish.
They said I was hurting
The poor green thing
Anyway.
That vase was too small.
At least the pre-butterflies
Would fly away eventually
And live a short happy life.
I couldn't save anyone.
I didn't want to.
I was feeling evil.
I was so very weak.
Some part of me wanted to die.
I didn't know why.
So I just left everything I had to do
Undone.
I woke up.
I hated everything.
I hated the plant I was used to give love
Because I can only give what I have.
I was guilty
For everything I had done.
For everything I hadn't.
Could anybody love me like that?