The "negative light"

Until I had become 

My second language

A second person, with hopes and dreams and sorrows

With a second name, and a new hair color

Another way of living,

Another set of memories

Just a whole new person

With all of it's perks 

Or disadvantages.

A secret hiding place

A paradise,

A nightmare,

Somewhere to put my bed in

Turn off the lights

Even if it's loud outside

To hear my silence.

She came in like a visit

Unannounced, all of sudden

I could not predict

How I'd have it unfolded

Three words and she had it

My darkest bit

My pit,

My endlessness and void

My me

The other me

The one that no one heard

Because I guess

I ended up being quiet

Behind all the noise that I constantly make

Maybe to distract the predators

Maybe to seduce the prey

Still, I fed this dance

Put colors in it

Made it spark and shake

Breaking myself into pieces

Like a scattered mirror on a sunny day

I never noticed

The side behind the shadow

Even though I new my other names

I never met her

And I've been hearing her voice

Whispering,

Yelling

Behind my mind

Burried in mud 

6 feet down

Below my coffin's end.

But I'm still there,

She says

And she still is, 

Indeed

Still there

She never came with me

She never lived my life

I never took her out

She's caged

Still reliving the same set of days

That by this point

Turned into one

Only one day

Lived over and over like a curse 

The worst part of each one of them

Turned into one

I wish I could have killed her

I wish I could have died

But I guess

She may be the real me

And once she's gone,

Well