Muscles

While my arms hurt so much 

I can barely move them,

I close my eyes and smile ear to ear

Relieved, 

Thanking whoever for the pain.

I take a sip on

A homemade tea

And it feels like alcohol

Bringing me back to me.

I cover myself with a 20+ yr old blue blanket

It doesn't feel soft

But it weights over me;

I could turn the fan off

And feel warm, relaxed

But I know I only fall asleep

With my muscles tense

To relieve the stress

And the cold feels like home

The lonely home where I grew up:

Empty, cold, windy.