Without falling apart

I have a zillion things to say.
I need to tell you
All the games I used to play
And count on fingers
All the guys that went away.

I have to tell you
How rarely I miss you now
And the way I became stronger.
Anyhow,
I must have told you
That I'd never go outside,
But when I did, I've found no light
To guide me home.

Do you remember
When we used to talk it through?
Do you remember
All the life I had to spend
Staring at you?
Do you?

Do you remember
How it used to taste
That endless meal of ours?
Or even that strange feeling
Like we never had to sleep
For being sane?

We were so gone,
But we came back.
And then I wish that made me glad
And proud of how
We stand for things right now.

This girl I've been,
She didn't last at all.
I thought my heart was huge
But I was just too small.
And I keep trying
To get almost killed inside.
And no one gets
What I'm always trying to hide.

It's like I said:
The more you tell,
Less they do know.
I fought so hard
But never wanted you to go.

And there you are.
I hear your voice,
You sound so soft.
But there's this hole
That eats me up
And takes my hopes.

Here you are,
Talking to me
Like you've always cared.
And here I am
Like you don't know me,
But you do.

There's so much
Inside of me
And it never goes out.
But I am proud
Because I'm living with myself
And I can live with you too.