Mary N.

I know
The next time I put
This on my dirty mouth
I'll call your name
Like I was expecting
For you to come and kill me.
I know
There will be a next time.
But I don't know
How long will it take
For me to do drugs
Twice again.
I miss you
Like my everynight
Depended on you
To exist.
I wanna run
To somewhere I don't know.
I need to forget my own name
So I'll be cool reminding yours.
I'll get mad still
So many times.
It doesn't really matter
How old am I.
I'll throw myself on stage
And wait for you
To get me out of there.
But I don't think
You'll ever recognize me like that.
You've never seen
My real face.

When I sing for you,
When I dance
On the middle of the floor,
I know you won't see me.
You won't hear
Your beautiful name
Being called.

And then,
I'll disappear
Like you wrote
On your childish notebook.
And I'll do it
All over again
With your pretty words
On my dirty mouth.