Lego

I brush my hair

With the hope to get it a little cleaner

With the hope to clear off my thoughts

But instead, poetry comes to me

I wonder why you make such decisions

To refrain from telling me

Something important

Are you just not smart enough,

Or too smart to get involved in this mess?

My teeth sink, aching

I'm super fucking worried about it

Not enough conscious of my fear

Of the appointment I have scheduled

For today's afternoon

I wonder why you treat me so sweet

To give me cold spits

Like a porcupine that activates

Once sensing danger

I always ask myself if you

Are just plain selfish

If I'm just a doll for you

If you decide

When you wanna feel like being kind

Are you playing me?

Am I a toy or a friend?

Could I be anything else?

I try my best to fit

Whatever you expect on someone

And whatever everyone needs

You tell me heavy stories

You make me worried about

Someone I like

You make me untrust them

And you act angry 

When I finally make peace

Were you jealous?

I thought you liked my company 

Were you jealous of him?

How can I ever be close to you?

You are the middle, the gray zone

You are the arrows among translation

You are present and 

I know you will be there, daily

But you're never really there, are you?

Are you ever with me?

I know that maybe the reason why

You are so anesthetized

If because of the khaos that revolves you

But if you knew, what I think about

That loud af girl, begging for attention

If you knew how I see you hurting her

Maybe you would get really mad at me

I think you would

It seems you're just another child

And I'm so so tired of playing the mother role.