Calendar

I don't feel like hurting myself today
I just feel like crying,
Depressed anxiety
I promised myself
I wouldn't let those tears come back
But here they are
And I'm on my own again.
I wish I could tell them
It wouldn't make a difference
My world is you
I can't bare this distance
I'm sorry, I wish I was stronger
I wish I was better
Any of this is real
Without you.
I can't even start to think
About working
And I have to go to college tomorrow
My heart is running again
Always in a hurry
To die
But I don't want to leave you
In such a place.
People die outside
They hate and hurt each others
And I can't be in the middle
Oh, I can't, I feel like
I'm about to have a heart attack
Maybe I just need something to calm me down
A drug perhaps
I don't like medicine, but
Maybe I need it.
I thought I could handle this.
Not even you can protect me
And here I am all concerned
About your safety
What can I do in this world?
What can I do?
I'm terrified.
I pretend that any of this exists
So I can breathe a little
So I can sleep at night
And I think of your voice
The only thing that keeps me sane yet
And I close my eyes.
Have a little faith, dear.
Have a little faith.