Vivid Reptile

I have to lower my blood pressure so I can stan you inside my house

Inside my walls, under my sheets

Inside my clothes,

And thoughts

Like a parasite

Like you call me

And I believe it

But then again, 

I have no other source

I have to pour down one of my drinks

Swallow

With my clogged throat

And still try to empathize

While holding my knife

Close to my hips

Against my chest

As if I was trying to tear myself apart

From the inside

I guess my heart isn't as spiky

As my skin

And it shows

From my voice tone

From the way I move

For the way I breathe

Trying not to steal your air

Suffocating beneath you

Buried six feet

Under concrete

I guess I never realized

The cage I live in is self made 

I made it all of walls

So I could not escape 

'Cause I'm a snake

And who know I may bite

Once I manage to get out

I try to choke

I try to hibernate

Simulate deaths

Virtual Reality trips

I try not to be awake

Or aware that you're a real person

While I silently poin all my fingers to you

And pray to god that you stay being my devil

Otherwise I would have to blame myself

And I'm barely alive

Or I'm just saying that

Because I want your pity

I don't know what's real anymore

I stuff my mouth wilh pills

Hope it works fast

Set myself on fire

Freeze to an ice stone

It's been long since I've been a human

More than just a body

Maybe it was on a past life.