Visit

I'm really fucking sad

And that doesn't bother me

In fact, it feels kinda cozy

Like a fresh blanket on a rainy day

I feel hopeless

Lonely

Yeah, I think that's the word

I feel sick

And I sense some PTSD tape

Playing in the back of my mind

I'm like, five

I don't wanna see you

I don't wanna go where you're going

I don't wanna smell your cigarette smoke

I'm terrified

I'm unsettled

By your distant presence

I once tried to rip off my wrist

Just so I could forget you

I don't want you

And I don't want to remember you exist

It's been a while

Since I realized

People poison me

9 out of 10 times

I rather kill myself at peace

Away from any influence

At least I would enjoy it

At least I would experience it

By myself

I don't wanna see you 

I don't wanna tell you I'm depressed

You should already know it

If I'm being honest

Why would you think any different?

Did you even meet me, for real?

I'm always lonely 

I'm trapped in a deep pit

I can only hear my own voice

And wish that I didn't have a body

Or memories

I don't want any company

You're overstaying your visit.