Deep Ink

I don't wanna tell you,

But I'm thinking of you

You, naked in my bed

Fulfilling my desires

Indulging my demands

Doing your best work

Just to make me happy

I'm thinking of you

Of three of you

Each one performing 

One of my fantasies

Simultaneously,

Oh god, how I miss

My dreams about you.

I'm terrible at keeping secrets

But there's this one line

Of a movie scene

That keeps playing in my mind

"The secret ingredient of sex..."

And I don't wanna tell you

In fact, I really want to

But I'm scared that

It might not be real

And if it is,

What would I 

Be supposed to do,

With you on my hands?

I want you,

Outpouring my fingers,

Yearning for me

Craving my mind 

And soul

Begging it to become 

Yours

I'll shut my mouth

But my thoughts are stronger

Wider, taller

Thicker

I think of you

And cry for mercy

I wanna own you

I wanna take a walk

Over your body

I want you to be my carpet

And the neon painting

Of my nails

I wanna snort you,

Consume you,

Remind myself

Of an old feeling,

An old being, 

A forgotten couple

Buried below

Our forgetfulness  

  

I crave you

I think of you

I know these thoughts and 

This emptiness

Will leak

And leave me behind

I know I am long forgotten

I know you won't hear my prayers

And if you do,

It will probably be too late

I wish I had it

That flame you seek for

I wanted to be your solution

I wanted you to think of me

And that it'd be so dirty

So deep dark into your soul

That you'd be terrified to tell me

I wanted you

To feel

Exactly how I feel

How I felt

When I once loved you

I crave myself

My long destroyed hope

Of an addictive future

I want

My memory of you

Printed over my eyes

I think of you,

Telepathically try to tell you

My secret

My self-centered dreams

My stained desires 

Of having you, for me only

But you won't hear

I guess

You won't read this letter

And you definitely 

Won't 

Love me back