Glass Dagger [♪]

I made myself a scar

Because I had a wound,

And it was painful —

A stab in the center of my chest,

Ugly, dirty, infected.

I tried to open it,

Sort the shards out,

Clean myself inside.

I picked up my skin

Like it was spikes of a porcupine

Or horns of a cactus —

Something that

Was not supposed to be there.

I guess I'm not a plant, nor an animal,

But my whole existence feels

Like a mistake,

Like I'm not supposed to be here.

I tried to paint myself —

The pain among the art,

Over my vesture.

I made a gesture

To my inner shadow

To let them know that I'm aware.

I made myself a wound,

And it was painful,

But the wound I had before

Was aching further.

So I had to move my claws

And do something about it.

Vivid Raptile [adapted] ♪

I have to lower my blood pressure so I can stand you inside my house

Inside my walls, under my sheets

Inside my clothes,

And thoughts

Like a parasite,

The way you used to call me

And I still believe it

But then again, 

I have no other source.

I have to pour down one of my drinks

Swallow

With my clogged throat,

And still try to empathize;

While holding my knife

Close to my hips

Against my chest

As if I were trying to tear myself apart

From the inside

I guess my heart isn't as spiky

As my skin,

And it shows

From my voice tone

From the way I move

For the way I breathe

Trying not to steal your air

Suffocating beneath you

Buried six feet

Under concrete;

I guess I never realized

The cage I live in is self made 

I made it all out of walls

So I could not escape 

'Cause I'm a snake

And who knows who I may bite

Once I manage to get out.

(Chorus:

I have been digging myself

To keep you alive

I have been crushing my toes 

So that you could walk

I have been talking myself

Outside of each fight

I did it all for you, to watch you thrive)

I try to choke

I try to hibernate

Simulate deaths

Virtual Reality trips

I try not to be awake

Or aware that you're a real person

While I silently point all of my fingers at you

And pray to god that you stay being my devil

Otherwise I would have to blame myself

And I'm barely alive

Or maybe I'm just saying that

Because you freak me out

And I don't want your rage to reach mine

(Chorus: 

I know if feels wrong

But I watch you try

From an outside view

Think I'm not alive

I've done it all for you

To see you smile

And I can't help you

More than I have done so far)

I stuff my mouth with pills

Hope it works fast

Set myself on fire

Freeze to an ice stone

It's been long since I've been around

Since I've been out of sight

But that's the only thing

That's keeping me alive.

(Chorus: 

I have nothing left

For you to tear apart

I gave you all I had

This is the last time

I put my heart on you

Hoping that you'd shine

But I have fallen now

Leave candles at my shrine)

Leave The Party ♪

I have been spending my whole life

Trying to be good enough

I slit my wrists I drank too much

But I was not even there

You said you two were going out and I was not invited

I smoked a pack of cigarettes trying to forget about it

(Chorus)

Uuuh when will you realize

That I've been here all the time

I've been alone by your side

Uuuh I think now you've realized,

That I'm still sitting on my own

But now I want to leave the party

I've tried to play all of your games

You hurt me, I never complained

I hurt you back, was it okay?

That's what you two used to teach me.

I only wanted to be friends

But you both forgot about me

I tried to hurt myself and laugh

Now I want to forget about it

(Chorus)

Uuuuh and I just want to leave the party

Uuuuh oh I just want to leave this party

Uuuh I want to forget about you

Uuuuh Mom, can I please just leave the party?