Inside my walls, under my sheets
Inside my clothes,
And thoughts
Like a parasite,
The way you used to call me
And I still believe it
But then again,
I have no other source.
I have to pour down one of my drinks
Swallow
With my clogged throat,
And still try to empathize;
While holding my knife
Close to my hips
Against my chest
As if I were trying to tear myself apart
From the inside
I guess my heart isn't as spiky
As my skin,
And it shows
From my voice tone
From the way I move
For the way I breathe
Trying not to steal your air
Suffocating beneath you
Buried six feet
Under concrete;
I guess I never realized
The cage I live in is self made
I made it all out of walls
So I could not escape
'Cause I'm a snake
And who knows who I may bite
Once I manage to get out.
(Chorus:
I have been digging myself
To keep you alive
I have been crushing my toes
So that you could walk
I have been talking myself
Outside of each fight
I did it all for you, to watch you thrive)
I try to choke
I try to hibernate
Simulate deaths
Virtual Reality trips
I try not to be awake
Or aware that you're a real person
While I silently point all of my fingers at you
And pray to god that you stay being my devil
Otherwise I would have to blame myself
And I'm barely alive
Or maybe I'm just saying that
Because you freak me out
And I don't want your rage to reach mine
(Chorus:
I know if feels wrong
But I watch you try
From an outside view
Think I'm not alive
I've done it all for you
To see you smile
And I can't help you
More than I have done so far)
I stuff my mouth with pills
Hope it works fast
Set myself on fire
Freeze to an ice stone
It's been long since I've been around
Since I've been out of sight
But that's the only thing
That's keeping me alive.
(Chorus:
I have nothing left
For you to tear apart
I gave you all I had
This is the last time
I put my heart on you
Hoping that you'd shine
But I have fallen now
Leave candles at my shrine)
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