Four Walls Gambling

If I had a house

I'd piss on each and

every corner of it

Like a spraying cat

To show it is mine

If I had a house 

All my birbs would sleep

And live through my schedule

And with that

I wouldn't need friends anymore

If I had a house

I would DIY a bathtub

And drown all my bathroom tiles

And just live with the mold

If I had a house

I would keep my head safe

With well tied plastic bags

And no one to hear me scream

If I had a house

I would take slices of me

And keep my knives sharpened

And breathe only smoke

Before putting out my cigarettes

On my human skin ashtray

If I had a house 

I would spend whole weeks without eating

I would drink only water

And pass out

Several times a day

I would embrace the silence

Besides the birds yelling

And the chaos consuming me

Would feel as sweet as a grave

If I had a house

I would tear it down

I would live in disease

And rule daily games

With myself

Just to keep myself

Entertained 

If I had a house

I would be free to hate you

To hate them

And to 

Joyfully 

Hate myself