The Night they Locked me in

I paint my nails black

With a bit of sparkle

I paint my lips red

Conscious of the fading

I breathe smoke and beer

Instead of drinking water

Hoping 

In my wildest of dreams

To be yours.

I am aware that my favorite shirt

Isn't even mine

And I'm aware

That I do not want you

As I love to pretend to

But when I lay my body

Over this exhausted bed

I pray to dream of you

Or else,

Or else.

I teach you

How to be alone

As if I could practice it

But I'm a liar

I steal you more and more

But reality kicks in

And throws me at the avenue

I hope there's some traffic.

I feel nice

I look gorgeous

The male eyes desire me 

Like a meat piece of high quality

I sense myself celebrating

To the air

And I hear the constant

Terrified screams.

I try to be 

Something that you'd wish for

I try to be your mother,

Your therapist, your dream

I try to be your mistress and your kid

I try to be you.

And my hopes go up and up

And I know what that means

I wear my black T-shirt

Christmas is a grieving event

I realized recently 

That I don't have any friends

And I don't hope to have them anymore

I only wait

For her to come pick me up from school.

I think they left me there.