Burning Bullet

Looks like I have been shot

Exactly half a centimeter left

To the very center of my chest

It's amazing how my body persists

In such a theatrical way

To present me

Surprisingly as precise as I am

As I feel

From my very core

I don't wanna be here

In this house, today

I think I may have given up on to

Looking good

Or trying to

Being something beautiful

Instead of

Fighting against pain

Is this supposed to be beautiful?

I'm not really sure

Of any of it, anyways

I like to hide my truths on a second language

To hide my panic attacks

In subconscious side-realities

Ultimately 

To crack my memories into so many pieces

I can't finish the puzzle for my life

Of my life

I can't find all of the pieces at the same time

Cause they're drawn as a paradox

A snake eating its tail

I devour my own past

And spit it away

It comes back over my skin

And teeth

Under my foot

Between my bones

On my shoulders,

In the middle of my spine

It comes back as the smell I feel on myself 

That makes me realize

I am real

I am something 

Not anyone, someone, a person

But a feeling

A willing 

The power force

To move

A strange machine 

With a lost user guide