Apologies

If you asked me,
I would probably get up from my chair
And move my arms around
Enumerating all the good reasons why
I loved him.
I'd anxiously rub one hand to another
Telling you all about
Our perfect little moments
And would let a shy smile show up
Down to my sad eyes.
I'd keep talking till you got envy
And maybe confused about
How could I sound even stranger
Than I usually am.

Love does that to us.

So, I would try and fail to explain
What was the good in all of it,
And suddenly I'd see it in your face
That you completely understood
What I was trying to say.
Not because of words,
Only because I sounded so true.
Then, I would mention to you
That one time when he held me in his arms,
Under the water,
That night when he read one of his texts to me
And I almost drawn into his voice,
Or maybe the countless nights
We wasted together
Watching cartoons and
Listening to each other.

He gets me.
I'd confess.
His silence understands me.
I would probably seem a little hurt.

But if you ask me now,
Why did you leave him?
As I don't think you will,
'Cuz no one ever gives a damn,
I'll get my eyes lost another time,
And forget to talk.

Are you okay?
As one should ask,
But never do.

And the only true thing
I could answer to you
Would be:
I love him.
And I just know it.
And this is how I know had to leave.
I just know.