Pain

I don't let myself laugh
Today I stood for hours
Without eating
And now I'm nursing
This headache
But won't talk to you
And I think about
Hurting myself
Just a little more
As I enjoy the absence
Of my little blue bird
I can only think
About sadness
Even if I keep
Trying to scape from it
What am I doing?
I just need to feel my pain
Somehow I like it
Don't blame me
I'm just sick
Let me be sick
Selfish and lonely
Self centered and everything
Let me be